let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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