Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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