Someone shit on the floor
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
