He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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