The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
