okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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