great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
