This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize