david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Randomize
