He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
