your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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