You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
