the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
