You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize