There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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