He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
