I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
