well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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