dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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