ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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