Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
