There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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