I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
