just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i believe in u and ur pee
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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