we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize