i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Couch. On fire.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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