like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
