He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
