Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
