:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
