What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
