wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
