Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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