who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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