Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
