I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
