y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
