question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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