It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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