Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
