Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize