Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
