I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
