That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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