so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
