I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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