I am puke
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
