Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
