It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize