We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i barfeds in our rink
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
