I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
