I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
