Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
