Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
