She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
