So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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