just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
