Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
