You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
