Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
