That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize