if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
