did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
