I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
