the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just pee around me
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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