we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Of course I have a pirate flag
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
