You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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