69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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