Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize