Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
