u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
