i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
