The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
