What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
