Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
