How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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