Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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