If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
