yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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