Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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