Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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