i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
